White Knights at White Castle: Romance with a Side of Fries

Valentine’s Day—with its $4 chocolate roses and rococo doilies—inspires as many legitimate lovers to romance as it does cynics to parody. And nowhere is that cynicism more evident than at a cheap hamburger joint in Williamsburg, capital of irony. While those who want to actually celebrate Valentine’s Day dress up to throw down cash on a “romantic” meal, on Graham Avenue, spendthrift couples embraced with the utmost sincerity what may have once been an “ironic” gesture—a Valentine’s Day Dinner at White Castle. In half hour intervals, couples who had made advance reservations sat at tables set with red cloth and pink candles, above which hovered red balloons. There they wined and dined on Root Beer and “Chicken Rings” (deep-fried, 870 calorie boxes of Wedding-band shaped reconstituted chicken). Diners ordered from commemorative menus and received table service. Waitress Kimaya Lee, out of her conventional uniform and wearing a red tee, prefers working this shift to other nights. “It’s more fun,” she said—noting that the type of customer who comes in on a night like this isn’t typical. The typical customer is more like Jonny Sanders, Astoria resident, who with his buddy visiting from Amsterdam had unwittingly come in on Valentine’s Day. “I find this…perplexing.” “We’re anti-Hallmark, anti-spending money,” said Williamsburg resident Dustin Millman, who has been dating Christina Shock for three years. They have always done a non-traditional Valentine’s Day. Last year was at McDonalds—a clear step down from the attentive staff and table service offered at White Castle. “We didn’t get this kind of service,” Shock said. “So we are cheating a little bit here, and getting to do a little Valentine’s Day.”

For some, this is just practical. “We didn’t want to go to a crowded restaurant,” said Derek Plaslaiko. “We like the alternative.” Despite the casual atmosphere, the young lady wore a floor-length black silk dress; the young gentleman—a suit. “If you’re doing something silly,” Jes Davis said. “You might as well do it up.” Two tables down—a double date. They’ve been coming here for three years—since White Castle has been accepting reservations. Formerly, they would dress up in slacks and button-downs, “But not in this economy,” John Dorfman jested. “This is a gift to our significant others,” said JC Etherege of he and his friend, who detest White Castle but had come here as a generous romantic gesture. “It ends up being weirdly romantic. We get trinkets out of the 25 cent machines.”

There was nothing weird about the romance between newly-engaged White Castle fans, Sarah Garza and Graig Donnelly. The two lovebirds regularly breeze over to White Castle and consider the Valentine’s Day dinner, “A perfect experience.”

Donnelly’s friends had been goading him for years that the women he had been dating were never up to his standards. “They used to say the girl I marry had to like White Castle.” They even sent him a picture of a wedding there—the bride in a flowing white gown in the parking lot of a White Castle. “We’re not going that far,” Sarah Garza said with a smile.
Said Donnelly: “We’ll see.”